Run! Don’t Walk! From… Soft Pastels!!!

If you’re a young, aspiring artist in the making, a middle-aged aspiring artist in the making, a really, really old, decrepit aspiring artist in the making, or anything in between, please heed this important warning: Just say no to soft pastels! Don’t even think about them!

Sure, they’re wildly colorful, vibrant, amazingly smooth and creamy, and working with them makes working with acrylics or oils or watercolors seem like a sloppy, cumbersome mess. But, trust me, there’s a downside to pastels. Oh, yes. And it’s a doozy.

Here’s the thing: the art you make with soft pastels is fragile. Fragile as in, it will be damaged, possibly ruined, if you so much as sneeze. Oh, it looks fantastic in the moment - all those reds and oranges and yellows and wonderful purples popping right off the paper. Woo-hoo! But then what? Huh? When you’re done and it’s time to put it away... Um... Where? How? You can’t let your precious pastel painting touch anything. Nothing. It if does, it smears. Hours and hours of work can be destroyed by an accidental swipe of your hand or an errant brush of a dog’s tail. And you don’t even want to know the devastation water and wind can do.

Say it with me: No soft pastels are good soft pastels!

(Editor’s note: I am using the term “soft” pastels because they are very different from something called “oil” pastels - which are basically deluxe crayons. Go wild with oil pastels. Have a blast. They’ll treat you right.)

Why not use fixative? you ask. Sure, fixative will “fix” the pastels to the surface of the paper. Spray away, if you don’t mind having those lovely tones, jazzy tints, exquisite shades, and glorious hues sucked right out of your masterpiece, leaving you with a dull, mediocre, blah/meh of a painting. No, fixative isn’t the answer. So, there’s really only one viable option: be REALLY CAREFUL with them. Guard them like a mama bear guards her cubs. And handle them with the speed of a sloth (watch out! slow down!), the patience of Mother Theresa, and plenty of separators to create the appropriate barrier between paintings.

See, that’s another important message regarding pastel painting: If you’re gonna to do it, you gotta use protection! (rimshot - ba-dum-bump!)

Then, if you’re lucky enough to actually sell one, that brings up the whole sad subject of trying to ship them. (Head shake...) Yeesh... It’s like trying to package up powdered sugar. Why not frame them, right? Cover them in a nice layer of glass. Perfect. Now they weigh a ton, are expensive to mail, and are super-dooper breakable. You can’t use plastic because it generates static, which pulls the pastel off the painting. And no matter how many layers of bubble wrap you employ, your painting probably won’t survive when Mr. Deliveryman gently dropkicks it out of his truck.

Don’t do it. Don’t pastel!

Did I mention what pastels can do to your clothes? It’s only chalk, so it should wash right out. But nope. Expect to stain countless shirts and pants. What about its effect on flooring? What if - hypothetically speaking - you happened to dump your entire container of Rembrandts - fifty sticks and a pound or two of pastel dust - on the carpet? If, theoretically, that took place, and you, for the sake of argument, began to frantically vacuum that spot in hopes of cleaning it up before your wife could see it, it would - given the properties of pastels - spread like a creature from outer space (think The Blob), growing until even a giant throw rug couldn’t cover it up and, when your wife saw it, you would be redirecting funds you previously had earmarked for art toward professional carpet cleaning services. Or so I’m told.

It’s not worth it - the trouble, the mess, the headaches... It’s really not. If you are even considering the thought of possibly ever using pastels: no, hapana, non, la, nyet, fergetaboutit!

Unless...

Ok. There is one exception to the “don’t ever do it” rule. One exception only. If, like me, you really, really, r-e-a-l-l-y like soft pastels - I mean REALLY like them - and other mediums refuse to cooperate with you, and you are convinced that if you don’t go the pastel route, you’ll be frustrated and morose and mopey and Eeyore-like beyond measure, moaning and groaning as you churn out terrible other-medium art, always wondering if pastels had held the answer to your lifelong quest to reach Pablo Picasso status - well, then... maybe... just maybe.  

If that’s you, first of all, I’m sorry. You have my sincere condolences. But I also have some very good news. It turns out that pastel paintings CAN be stored safely and (get this) shipped without glass and without worrying about USPS/UPS vandalism.

After 20+ years of pasteling, stacking my work carefully in the garage and basement, throwing it out later when it got messed up, shipping it to buyers who complained when it arrived as a collection of smears and shards, and therefore mostly only selling framed pieces through local galleries and shows, I did something outlandish and radical: I googled “how to store and ship pastel paintings.”

Turns out it’s not impossible. It’s not even that hard. Well, it’s kind of hard. But definitely doable. After watching a series of YouTube videos and reading all sorts of articles on the subject, I made a list and placed an order with good old Amazon. Miraculously, in just two days (don’t you LOVE Prime?!), I had all of the appropriate supplies.

Which brings me to this: Instead of just displaying art on my website, I now have it for sale on an art gallery website. Yeah, I know. I think it’s pretty cool too!

It’s been “out there” for nearly two whole days now. And while I haven’t closed a sale - or even come close - I have received several “likes.” I know you can’t buy new pastels (or anything else) with “likes,” but it’s a start.

So my advice to you up-and-comers is this: Think long and hard BEFORE picking up one of those cool, brightly colored sticks that move across Canson® Mi-Teintes® paper like butter. Try your best to resist the urge. But if you can’t avoid them, if you just have to go with pastels, always remember that you were forewarned. And if you end up becoming the Van Gogh of soft pastels, tell people I got you started! 

Also, check out my gallery here. If you see anything you like, “like” it. If you see anything you can’t live without, email me. Say you heard about my work via this blog. I’ll give you a crazy-good, blog-reader’s deal and get it to you in pristine condition. What you do with it after that is up to you.