Christmas: A Season Fraught With... Juggling
If you’re like me, when you think of Christmas, you not only think of the birth of Christ (“the reason for the season”) but of the multitude of unique and meaningful traditions that make this time of year so special.
Like the Saturday afternoon right after Thanksgiving when you dig sagging boxes of ancient ornaments, tangled garland, blow-up lawn decorations, the giant rooftop wreath, and wads of icicle lights out of the attic and pile them in the garage. Then you string a bazillion extension cords across the yard for the blow-ups, and climb the ladder to hang that wreath and those icicle lights on the eves. In keeping with the season, you naturally neglect to plug those lights in beforehand to ensure that they all work – and, of course, they do not. This leads to another time-honored Christmas ritual: the hasty trip to Lowe’s for new lights, followed by another hour of balancing precariously on the ladder. As tradition would have it, a matter of days before the big shebang, the annual December wind storm arrives to effectively yank down those lovely lights, wreak havoc with the blow-ups, and send the wreath rolling down the street. With the temps now dipping into freeze-your-buns-off territory, it is finally time for that hollowed moment when, risking frostbite and hypothermia, and with an attitude that lands you securely on Santa’s “naughty” list, you hastily perform a halfhearted repair job.
No other holiday can compete with this delightful, two month+ (and still growing) season so fraught with wonderful festivities, foods, events, gatherings, and memories. And as we all know, it’s also fraught with juggling.
Yes, Christmas is the best! No other holiday can compete with this delightful, two month+ (and still growing) season so fraught with wonderful festivities, foods, events, gatherings, and memories.
And as we all know, it’s also fraught with juggling. Yes, I’m referring to that ancient activity in which clown-like individuals fling multiple objects into the air and attempt to keep them from crashing back to earth. I’m also referring to the seasonal reappearance of those infamous propagators of jocularity, frivolity, and mirth: Cristof and Carlito – aka The Hopping Jalapeño Brothers (“Hey!”).
If you just arrived on planet earth and are not familiar with the Hopping Jalapeño Brothers (“Hey!”), then you probably don’t know that they got their start some 30 years ago when one of the brothers (Cristof), witnessed a woman juggling in a park and returned home determined to mimic her movements. After many, many (M-A-N-Y) valiant attempts with balled up socks, tennis balls, and a variety of fruits and vegetables, he managed to break several of his wife’s priceless porcelain figurines. He also learned the basic cascade, with varying degrees of success.
Thousands of miles away, on the other side of the continent, Carlito was also tossing items into the air with varying degrees of success.
Before long, an idea occurred to them: Why not toss items into the air together with varying degrees of success? The result was a juggling duo that became a juggling team and eventually transmogrified into a juggling troupe. They donned MC Hammer pants, funny hats, and enthusiastically expanded their apparati to include rubber chickens, tennis racquets, bowling ball, eggs, even knives and (gulp!) torches, causing onlookers to scowl and shout: “Can you do chainsaws?!”
What followed was super stardom on the semi-professional, more-humorous-than-talented, local juggling circuit. They found themselves trying desperately to entertain standing-room-only crowds at such prestigious venues as the YMCA, the VFW, the Springs Rescue Mission, the Festival of Lights Parade, Josh and Johns Ice Cream, and a host of retirement homes, eventually reaching the pinnacle of their career: opening for Santa at the Lon Chaney Theater.
Somewhere along the way, during those heady days of touring the town, performing for throngs of hecklers and distracted children, they made a decision that forever changed the course of... um... Actually, it didn’t change the course of anything. They just started juggling for the Salvation Army’s Red Kettle Campaign.
For the next 25+ years, The Hopping Jalapeño Brothers (“Hey!”) carried on this tradition, hurling red, green, and gold items into the air as they rang the bell in front of King Soopers, Sam’s Club, Hobby Lobby, Safeway, and a host of other establishments, in what was often less-than-comfortable weather.
The point of this blog (if there is one) is that even marginally talented, wardrobe challenged jugglers can do something worthwhile at Christmas.
If you have never had the opportunity to experience The Hopping Jalapeño Brothers (“Hey!”) in person, you probably missed your chance. Aside from the kettle campaign, they are now in quasi-retirement. (Only a very sizable bribe and the promise of significant life insurance would convince them to break out the torches again.)
This year, one of the HJBs was sick and their designated elf was double booked. But the remaining brother, accompanied by a loyal, next-gen apprentice, dutifully rang the bell and tossed jugs at King Soopers. Because... (all together now...) the show must go on!
The point of this blog (if there is one) is that even marginally talented, wardrobe challenged jugglers can do something worthwhile at Christmas. According to the Salvation Army, their red kettle program assists 31 million people annually during the holiday season and throughout the year. The HJBs have logged approximately 50 bell ringing sessions, which have hopefully brought in a heap of Benjamins for that program. You can add yours here – at the virtual red kettle.
The HJBs would like to take this opportunity to thank those who have supported their efforts and made their illustrious, though largely unappreciated career possible, including Frances Lane (designated HJB elf), Ann Lane (designated HJB Starbucks runner and costume creator), Mari (the Wonder Dog), and our official HJB interns, Shep, Josh, and Miles.
In closing, the HJBs would simply like to wish you a wonderful Christmas and a joyous new year. Oh, and they also want to add: “Hey!”