Just do it. Get it over with. Rip off the bandage. Make the move. Pull the trigger and let’s move on.

I won’t protest. I won’t seek revenge. I promise that I won’t even hold a grudge. But this waiting and wondering when it’s going to happen... The suspense is killing me! Hurry up already!

Cancel me!

Oh, so you don’t think I’m cancel-worthy? Just because I’m not a celebrity or a professional athlete with foot-in-mouth disease doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be silenced. Plain old nobodies like me deserve to be erased too.

In support of my campaign to be cancelled, I offer this evidence: I’ve embraced a highly offensive worldview and belief system that is neither inclusive nor flexible. Furthermore, I stubbornly refuse to alter my stance or shut up about it.

I’ve embraced a highly offensive worldview and belief system that is neither inclusive nor flexible.

See? Cancel-o-mundo!

Not convinced? What about this: I am firmly committed to Someone and something that is diametrically opposed to the social trends, attitudes, and behaviors currently circulating and being espoused on planet earth. I’m talking about my belief in God and the Bible. By embracing that dangerous combo, I have chosen to put myself at odds with our culture’s morality and philosophy.

That sound you hear is the rubber meeting the road.

If I continue to believe and obey God, and practice what’s in the Bible, I’ll be going directly against the flow, making muchos enemies, and eventually setting myself up to be castigated, labeled intolerant, called a bigot, ostracized, and... all together now: cancelled.

So, why not skip the intermediate jousting? Nix me now!

This is about more than just being old and cantankerous. Not every curmudgeon qualifies for cancelization. It takes an extra edge, something that is scary and offensive and unpalatable to the mainstream, relativistic crowd, something that calls them out and effectively ticks them off. Believing the Bible and its Author qualifies.

Get the pitchforks!

Specifically, it’s not cool that the Bible says, “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth...” That sets off the evolutionists and atheists. Or what about: “God created mankind in his own image... male and female he created them.” Uh-oh... Not sensitive to gender fluidity. Or then there are the passages that comment on abortion, homosexuality, sex outside of marriage... Or the elephant in the room: Jesus calling Himself God and stating unequivocally that there is no way to heaven, except through faith in Him.

Yikes! Outrageous, right? Anyone with the audacity to believe that deserves to be cancelled. In fact, maybe we should just cancel the Bible. And God too, since it’s His book. That would take care of the problem, right?

I’m not writing this out of bitterness or anger or a desire to condemn. My motivation is a sad certainty that our world has gone off the rails and isn’t coming back.

Seriously, I’m not writing this out of bitterness or anger or a desire to condemn. My motivation is a sad certainty that our world has gone off the rails and isn’t coming back. All signs indicate that we are swiftly approaching a day when being a Christian is anathema.

It seems to be an eventuality. So I’m prepared to be eliminated, eradicated, disappeared.

Don’t confuse this with a concession. I’m not giving up (see tattoo on right forearm). I’ll still be practicing my faith in a country that used to be known for the freedom to do that. But if the cancelers will just hurry up, get on with their business, and hit the delete button, they’ll feel better about themselves and, hopefully, move on to find some other poor schnook to extirpate. Then I can continue to follow God in the relative tranquility of my post-cancelled state.

Before I tiptoe into Cancel-Town, however, I have one last cautionary warning for all of us: We’re going the wrong way. We’re moving speedily and recklessly away from God. And what lies ahead isn’t going to be good. To quote a few of my favorite movies: I’ve got a bad feeling about this. Hang onto something. It’s coming... It’s already here!

Editor’s note: They tried to cancel Jesus. But... um... Didn’t work.