The Great Reset!
The Great Reset is here! No, not the one being orchestrated by Klaus Schwab, the James Bond villain-wannabe, and his evil cronies who are, at this very moment, secretly meeting behind closed doors to smoke cigars the size of burritos and exchange high-fives as they devise clever, diabolical schemes to enslave the masses, dominate every governmental and financial institution on the planet, and Rule The World!!! (Insert maniacal laughter here!).
No. Not that Great Reset.
I’m talking about a much kinder, gentler reset. A lower-intensity reset. Unlike the one being foisted on us by Ernst Stavro Blofeld... I mean Professor Schwab, this reset won’t result in complete chaos, anarchy, and the dawn of a bleak Orwellian dystopia. Nope. Our reset should – eventually – bring about a blissful state in which we can spend summer evenings relaxing in the backyard, sipping cold beverages, and dodging dog doot as we prove that we are pretty terrible at cornhole. The only question is when this state of bliss will be achieved.
If you haven’t already guessed – we are UN-moving!
A funny thing happened on the way to selling the house. Namely: we didn’t.
As you may remember, in my last blog, I wrote about our maybe-moving. It involved a gargantuan energy suck in which we labored night and day, day and night for weeks to get our house ready for the market, then (gasp!) listed it, and began to live a monk-like existence, perpetually on red alert status, ready at all times to disappear if any buyers requested a showing. And let me tell you, buyers did.
Well, a funny thing happened on the way to selling the house. Namely: we didn’t. At a certain point, motivated by a host of factors (the WEF’s mad quest to usher in the Armageddon wasn’t one of them) we raised the white flag, removed the For Sale sign from the front yard, and went back to life as usual.
Except... well... NOT.
Not “life as usual.” In fact, kind of the opposite of “life as usual.” Because as it turns out, “life as usual” was mostly being stored in a multitude of boxes stacked and stuffed and otherwise shoved into our garage. So our new and improved “life as usual” quickly became this: unpacking, unloading, and undoing all of the downsizing we had so successfully accomplished in order to achieve minimalistic perfection and snag a buyer.
Time to re-set.
Thus our evenings and weekends are no longer spent meticulously cleaning and preparing to bolt for showings. Whew! What a relief! Now they are spent pushing boxes around in the overly warm (think: hellishly hot) garage, carting boxes downstairs, carting boxes upstairs, opening and then closing boxes as we realize they don’t contain what we’re looking for, cutting down boxes, restacking boxes because we don’t know what to do with the contents, and generally cursing the inventor of cardboard under our breath. We are also redoing... everything.
This is UN-moving. And while we are not finished (ha! not even remotely close...), I do have some advice for those who might find themselves maybe-moving and then, Davos-motivated or not, flip-flop to UN-moving. First and foremost: don’t do it! Just don’t. However, if you can’t resist, let me offer a few tips to help you make the most of the experience and, hopefully, avoid completely losing your mind in the process.
1. Stock up on patience. (And Alleve®.) The wisest man who ever lived once wrote: “The end of a matter is better than its beginning and patience is better than pride.” That’s true. However, getting to the end of a matter is no easy thing, at least when you’re UN-moving. It just keeps going and going. Patience (and Alleve®) are absolutely essential in order to avoid giving up on ever regaining any semblance of “life as usual.” Get used to resetting as a lifestyle.
With the right attitude, this can be a reset that is not just ok, or kinda not bad, or pretty good, but... Grrrreat!
2. Check your treasure. (And your supply of Alleve®.) You’ve probably heard the saying, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” During the UN-moving process, it’s tempting to think that your heart resides permanently in the garage, encased in cardboard. This, of course, isn’t true. Sure, all your stuff is out there and you are going to spend the next several weeks (months?) sorting through it and schlepping it around. But life is more than personal belongings, right? Right?? Use this time to reconsider your priorities. And treat the resulting aches and pains with heaps of naproxen sodium.
3. Seize the day. (And the Alleve®.) As the adrenaline rush passes and UN-moving becomes a gosh-awful, seemingly neverending ordeal, you might be tempted to join good old Solomon in lamenting: “The hearts of people, moreover, are full of evil and there is madness in their hearts while they live, and afterward they join the dead.” But don’t! Just forget about Sol’s depressing words and instead, carpe diem! Think of your UN-moving as a once-in-a-lifetime (“please, God!”) opportunity to start fresh, revamp, rehang all those photos and pictures and curtain rods, rearrange all that furniture, and carry the stationary bike that weighs more than a Mini Cooper up the stairs because your wife decided it should go in the spare bedroom (oof!). Yes, with the right attitude, this can be a reset that is not just ok, or kinda not bad, or pretty good, but... Grrrreat!
So if that’s you, I encourage you to embrace this season of your life. Maybe put your box cutter down early this evening. Turn on something light and humorous, like Naked and Afraid. Relax as you watch a group of people who, like you, are scrambling for survival. Chuckle at their antics, shake your head at their plight, empathize with their pain, and reflect on how much better you have it than they do. After all, you’re wearing clothes and have even more clothes somewhere in the garage. And you’ve got Alleve®.